Baby Wise

So, it' s just a day after Christmas, and not that I'm all about using other people's gifts, but Becky got the gift of a book from her sister - who is also expecting. She sent us the book titled, On Becoming Baby Wise by Ezzo and Bucknam.

While I'm not a fast reader, I've so far been really impressed with the content of the preface and chapter one. Despite the fact that the book has few if no Christian connections whatsoever, it seems to be postured to how I think about children, family and raising children.

First of all, since I've never been a Dad before in my life, I have no idea what it's like to be a dad. I have some ideas, and I have my experiences of being a son and seeing other parents parent, and really that's about it. I feel like my dad and my mom were both exceptional at what they did and continue to do as my parents. I love them and respect them so much, but in this day and age, I'm concerned about my own ability to parent, to say nothing of how to be a Dad.

I guess in some ways I think I have it easier, since I'm having a son, but then again not. Beck and I have talked - did talk about before we knew the answer to the boy/girl question: "If we have a girl, she'll learn more girl things - from her mom and if we have a boy, he'll learn more boy things from me." There's just some things that genders can teach themselves.

So in looking at Baby Wise, I'm at first challenged and moved at the need to think about how important it is to be the parent, and not the friend. Ezzo and Bucknam point out that a child becoming your friend is a good long term goal - one that's set way out in the future - well past the age of adolescence. They say that, "time and experience are prerequisites for building any friendship" and that "children enter the world with neither" time or experience.

I think my desire points to wanting to be a perfect dad, not because I want to be perfect for my sake, but because I don't want my mistakes to be my son's later in life faults. But I also think that's where I need to just trust in God and to look to God the Father as my example. I figure the more I get to know Him, the more I'll understand what He's going to teach me directly and what He's going to teach me from him indirectly.

4D is way cool

So for months, Beck and I have been anticipating so much. We have wondered so many things, and continue to wonder those, and many more. It seems like the more we find out, the more we have opportunity to wonder.

We've discovered that Little E. is a boy, we've discovered that he's progressing along just fine. We've discovered that the fluid in his kidneys has gone down - as was expected. We've discovered that Little E. will be along just before Homecoming. We're anticipating that lots of people will want to hold him, and recently we've discovered what he looks like!

Now we know that he has my lower lip, Becky's cheeks and nose and my elbows.

We had our 32 week ultra-sound a few days ago, and got these great "4D" pictures - sort of by accident. We had paid the extra few dollars to get a DVD copy of the ultrasound session and somehow during the finalizing of the DVD, something messed up and the technician offered to redo the entire ultrasound. She said she'd do a few pictures in 4D, and put them on the new CD since the first one messed up - and this is one of the 4 on the CD.

Just after we got out from the ultrasound with the printed pictures, I couldn't stop looking at the pictures, looking at his face, knowing that that face was just a shadow of what I'd be looking into in the next few weeks.

We've got some names in mind, and now my mind turned to not just what name but what name would go with his face? His name could be this or that, but his face, his face will stay the same. Needless to say it's led to more discussions about him, about the future and about everything to come.

I wonder about what I'll teach him. I wonder about when he'll learn. I wonder if he'll sleep well through the night, or when - that is. I wonder if I'll sing him to sleep. I wonder if he'll turn his head at the sound of my voice. I wonder if he'll recognize his name. I wonder what color his eyes will be. I wonder what kind of hair he'll have. I wonder whose smile he'll have. I wonder so much, but not so much that I can't wait for those moments in the time that God has set them.